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Solutions To Thinning Hair | Amber's Story

Posted on March 11 2018

Amber's Story

 

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else." -Iyanla Vanzant

 

We had just arrived at my Mom’s house after a fun family activity. Everyone was dressed up, and I was wearing a pretty tulle skirt and floral shirt I received as a gift for my birthday, and… a wig. My hair had been going through a shed. The time and effort it took to style my bio hair, only to end up being disappointed and irritated with the end results, was emotionally draining.

I had visited a wig store for the first time a year or so prior, and purchased my first two wigs. I can’t even recall a brand name, and they were bargain synthetic wigs. I remember being so self-conscious, assuming that everyone knew for certain I was wearing fake hair, but I wore it anyway. Wearing a wig was way better than trying to spend hours in the bathroom styling my wispy, thin, shedding head of hair.

I was still very backward and secretive about my “hair wearing”. The whole thing seemed so “taboo”. What would people think? I had kept it a secret for a few years, but my thin hair struggles had been going on since I could remember. I grew up with a thin head of hair, and after having babies in my early 20’s, it only worsened. It’d go through ups and downs, but I never experienced a long, thick, beautiful head of my own hair. Adding extensions was deemed acceptable, but it never took care of the thin areas on top, which was a big part of the issues I was having.

I am an open person, who tends to express my feelings. I like to “talk it out”. Not only do I like to learn, listen, and see the why/how/who/when/where about people, and why they do the things they do… BUT, I also like to share why I do what I do… and basically “get it all out”.  At the end of the day, I suppose “letting it out”, helps me “let it go”. Not everyone functions this way, and that is okay, but each of us needs to find that “thing” that helps us find peace, contentment, and the ability to move on from things that are holding us down, or holding us back.

The feelings I had regarding wearing fake hair was like an elephant in the room. I just wanted to get it out. So, the first time I finally let the cat out of the bag, was that day… after our family activity. I was in my Mom's entry way looking at the photographs on her table, glancing at my fake hair-do in the above mirror. It looked decent that day, and although the wig was a full cap, I had accessorized with a cute headband to help conceal any unrealistic parts.

My Mom walked in, and I blurted it out randomly. “Mom, I’m wearing a wig.” She looked over at me with a face of shock. “Whaaaaat?” She replied.

You guys, MY MOTHER. My mother who birthed me, raised me, and KNEW I didn’t have the thickest head of hair… she didn’t even realize it was fake. Perhaps there may have been times she noticed something different, but she never could pin-point what it was. I soon realized MOST people don’t suspect at thing.  

Telling her that I wore alternative hair felt like a weight off my shoulders. Because of my personality, it actually helped me accept and embrace it. Telling that first person helped me to be open about telling the next. It helped me express my feeling to my husband about the insecurity I had about my thin hair (something I never really talked about up until that point). Becoming open about my feelings, my insecurities, the fact that I wore and LIKED faux hair – was part of what prompted me to start sharing my story and ideas on Instagram, and then YouTube. Sharing helped me heal, embrace, and own this journey I am on.

There was definitely a healing power to finding and using alternative hair, but for me, part of acceptance was learning to not be ashamed. For me, not being ashamed meant being open and honest. It was difficult at first. I was nervous. But it was liberating. It took time to feel okay with people seeing and knowing “what was underneath”, but I have realized that being brave about your struggles can potentially help someone experiencing something similar. Hearing that I may have helped just one person along their hairloss journey was another way of healing for me. Help, compassion, and service can heal the recipient AND the giver.

As many of you know, my name is Amber, and my hair page is called Fabricating Fringe. I have personally felt those feelings of dread, sadness, anxiety, and insecurity… both with the hairloss, and the fear of hair-wearing. Just know that you can and will find peace, comfort, and happiness in your own way, on your own time. Once you get past the “loss”, you’ll find that alternative hair is a joy! (At least in my experience.) I started sharing to help someone, but to also help myself.

I challenge anyone who reads this who may be going through a struggle of their own, to find that “niche” that may help you along the way. Whether it be taking the plunge and buying your first hair topper or wig, sharing your feelings with someone, or gaining perspective by learning about someone else’s journey. It’s amazing the things we can gain and learn from one another!

 

Solutions To Thinning Hair | Amber's Story

 

“When we share our stories, what it does is it opens up our hearts for other people to share their stories. And it gives us the sense that we are not alone on this journey." – Janine Shepherd

 

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10 comments

  • The Wig Experts: March 22, 2018

    Hi Diane!
    You could wear a men’s hairpiece or full wig. We carry a variety of different styles that are popular. Unfortunately, we don’t carry any human hair pieces for men, however it sounds like a synthetic piece would be better for you. Synthetic will be styled and ready to go out of the box and less expensive than human hair.

    Below is a link to the men’s african american wigs and wigs we carry:

    http://wigsforblackowomen.com/collections/mens-wigs-toupees-african american wigs

    -The Wig Experts

  • Diane: March 21, 2018

    I have male alopichia(?) and have had it a long time…as a result I am bald around my head from ears down around back of my head. I have been wearing human hair pieces with a 6” base. This no longer covers the back of my hair. Would a half wig work? Financially I have to stay within my budget so that kind of holds me back but I definitely want human hair as I can no longer do my own hair. Any info or help would be appreciated. Thanks!

  • The Wig Experts: March 19, 2018

    Hi Lilly!
    Thank you for your comment! Here are some recommendations:
     
    Brooke by Envy
    Belinda by Envy
     
    Both are longer so you can put up and have grey options with a little brown in them.

    -The Wig Experts

  • Lilly Rose: March 18, 2018

    Amber,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I have always had long hair that I’ve worn it up most of the time and and until the past few years sort of ignored the fact that I was getting a bald patch on top. Recently I have had several surgeries in a row and a bad problem has become worse since my hair has thinned all over and I can no longer wear it down at all due to most of the top of my head being bailed and I have a medical condition that is affection my hands where I can no longer do my own hair as I could before. It is interfering in my everyday like. I need a wig that I can put up. I have mostly grey hair mixed with some light brown. Do they have such a wig? I wear my head pulled back now with a small knot at the back of my neck. I still have just enough hair in front to cover the top.

  • Yvonne: March 18, 2018

    Thank you Amber for your heartfelt story. I feel that women are judged by our hair, so when we compare outselves to women in media ect. we don’t measure up!! Of course we all know, we have lots to offer, but 1st impressions sometimes tell a different story! Thank you for your honesty😀

  • The Wig Experts: March 16, 2018

    Hi Debbie!
    First, we would recommend measuring your head to make sure you are purchasing the correct size (link with directions below).
     
    http://wigsforblackowomen.com/pages/how-to-find-your-wig-size
     
    If you are purchasing the correct size, wigs do come with adjustable straps you can use to size down ½ to 1 inch. You can also use things like adhesives or suregrip (link for those below).
     
    http://wigsforblackowomen.com/collections/tapes-adhesives
     
    http://wigsforblackowomen.com/products/sure-grip-for-wigs-beautimark

    It also sounds like toppers might be a good option for you!

  • Debbie: March 15, 2018

    i too have the same thinning hair problem except I am totally bald on top. I wear my long straggly hair pulled all the way on top . I just started to wear a wig, not often, I am also insecure and feel that people can tell. How do you keep your wig from slipping or falling off? Shall I use the It’s It glue stick? Thanks for listening, I hope I hear back…

  • Patsy Miller: March 15, 2018

    Thank you for making my day a little easier, my hair is almost bald now on top of my head, I have tried everything, before I had a stroke, but, I,m so tired of trying to cover it up, Patsy.

  • Cathe Lartigue: March 14, 2018

    Amber, thank you so much for sharing that. So many of us have similar hair stories and it’s great that we can bring this out in the open!! XXOXOXOXO!!!!

  • sonjia l montgomery: March 14, 2018

    That was a heartwarming story!I had thick black hair, but after babies, etc.thinning started in early 20’s.So horrified people see my thin hair on top!Bleached blonde, helped some.I wear hairpiece ‘s not full wigs!My daughter has same issue, many women do.Did the extensions, have too comb perfectly or could see extensions!Usually wear up.I have made peace for now, totally understand your situation.Glad you are happy. Sonjia

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